What is an Uncontested Divorce in New Jersey?

There seems to be a lot of confusion about what is and is not an “uncontested” divorce.  The following video explains the difference between a contested and uncontested divorce in New Jersey.  The transcript of the video is below.

Hi everybody. I hope you’re doing well.

I want to talk today about a topic that’s very simple, and yet which seems to be a source of great confusion. And that’s the difference between a contested divorce and an uncontested divorce. And I’m doing this because I get calls all the time from people, and the first thing out of their mouth is, “I’m calling about an uncontested divorce,” or, “I want an uncontested divorce.” But then I begin talking to them, and within a minute or two it’s very clear to me that what they’re talking about is actually a very contested divorce.

I think the misunderstandings fall into two basic categories. There are some people when they say uncontested, what they’re just trying to express to me is that there’s no dispute between themselves and their spouse that they need a divorce. Like, “No contest about that. We definitely need a divorce. We can’t get along with each other. We’ve tried for 10 years, we’ve gone to counseling, this and that. So there’s no contest that we definitely need a divorce.” Okay, that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean that you have an uncontested divorce in a legal sense, because that’s just not what the word means. Or people will call and what they are really saying is they want a divorce that’s not acrimonious. They see these movies, these TV shows, or maybe they talk with friends who’ve gone through the divorce process and they know how ugly it can get, and they don’t want an ugly divorce. And that is certainly understandable, and it’s certainly laudable. And I try with every one of my clients to effectuate that.

Now, unfortunately, sometimes we do have to get a little litigious here, but in general, if you can have a non-acrimonious divorce, that’s the best kind to have. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it starts out as uncontested.

Uncontested simply means that you and your spouse have resolved all of the divorce related issues between you. And so what’ll happen is I’ll get these phone calls, the person will say they want an uncontested divorce, and then I’ll start asking them questions. “Well, have you guys decided what you’re going to do with the marital home? Have you guys decided who’s going to spend time with the kids and in what amount? Who’s the parent of primary residence? What’s the parent of alternate residence? Who’s that going to be? What about child support? What about your debts?” That’s one of the ones that people forget about a lot is debts. You got to break up who owes what on the credit cards, for example. Who owes what for the tax liabilities. There are all kinds of issues that come into play when it comes to a divorce. And until you’ve resolved all of those issues, the divorce is still contested.

Now again, that doesn’t mean you have to kick and scream and fight and scratch. There are a lot of ways to get from a divorce where issues are still contested to one word it’s not. And a lot of times it’s just a matter of people not knowing that these are issues have to be resolved. A lot of times we can simply sit down with one another, and once people know what issues have to be resolved, then we can work it out pretty easily. But until those issues are resolved, you don’t have an uncontested divorce.

Now, what you should understand though is, and this is the good news, 98% of divorce cases eventually become uncontested. They might start out with issues in dispute, almost all of them do. And some of them in fact get very acrimonious, but eventually they wind up settling 98% of the time. Which means they’ve gone from a divorce that’s contested to a divorce that’s uncontested. It doesn’t even mean that they’re especially happy with the resolution. Just that they want to settle the case, and they’re ready to sign a marital settlement agreement that resolves all the issues. Only about 2% of cases wind up going to trial. If you talk to these family court judges, they’ll tell you that maybe in a given year they might do three or four, at most five trials in a whole year. And they have hundreds, hundreds of matrimonial cases.

So the point of this video is simply this. Uncontested just means that you’ve reached a point in your divorce process where you’ve resolved all of the issues between you and your spouse. Sometimes that happens before you ever speak with an attorney. Sometimes that happens after two years of litigating and mediating and arbitrating and negotiating all these things. And sometimes, in 2% of cases, it doesn’t happen at all. But it doesn’t mean that it is or isn’t acrimonious, and it means something more than you simply agree that you need to get divorced. It means that all of the issues are resolved.

I’ll do a separate video shortly after this about how to avoid acrimonious divorces through alternate dispute resolution, mediation, arbitration, things like that. But for now, it’s sufficient for present purposes simply to understand that an uncontested divorce just means that you’ve resolved all the issues. And until you resolve all the issues, you don’t have an uncontested divorce. All right?

So look, if you want to talk to me about that or anything else, I do offer a free consultation. Just give me a call. 732-297-8200. I’ll be happy to speak with you and see if I can help you out. All right, guys. Thanks so much. Have a nice day.